When I found out we were pregnant again, I had lots of mixed feelings. I felt guilty. Guilty that I was pregnant because if the girls were with us today, we would have our hands full and not even be thinking of having a baby, this baby. I was and still am a nervous wreck. I walk around every day thinking that the same thing is going to happen to us again. That we will be happy and everything will be fine for 7 or 8 months and I will get robbed again. Its hard to believe, believe that my body will know what to do correctly this time, believe that this will be our "take home" baby, believe that this wont happen to us again. I can tell Dave is nervous. He wont let me go to the doctors without him. When I found out the girls were no longer alive inside me, I was alone, it was one of the only appointments I had gone to alone, it was the worst day ever.
But I need to believe. I need to believe that my body can do things correctly this time. I have to have faith. But where do I find this faith? How do you believe again?
Jenn, I am so glad you have faith. I will keep you in my prayers. Don't dwell on the past (please don't be offended by that) look toward the future and may God Bless you both.
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